Friday, January 11, 2008
Sewer reporting flush with bad puns
The writing and reporting is at an already the dregs, but the staff of the Middletown Press seems to be squatting to new lows. In reporting on the possibility that Middletown will become part of the Mattabassett Sewer District, reporters seem to be competing for the dubious honor of whom can make the worst sewage and shit puns.
In his story, Rick Guiness, excretes a lead that would be laughable, if it were funny: As some might deem proper, issues concerning the regional sewer district remained stagnant Wednesday.
Guiness continues his peristaltic witticisms by calling a complaint, "murky," noting that issues were "stalled," and that "a major movement on Mattabassett" was a step backward.
In a related piece, Sloan Brewster dumps a redundantly sophomoric lead on the reader: Middletown officials are pumped about getting city sewage pumped through the Mattabassett District regional sewage treatment plant.
Brewster reports that board chairman William Candelori want to "push the process," and quotes Middletown mayor Giuliano who talks about "dumping into the river" and who also says, about a joint town effort, that "the other three load's get abbreviated."
Memo to reporters: just because you're writing about shit, the writing needn't be shitty.
Good bathroom reading, still, and when you're done, you can put the Middletown Press behind you.