Monday, October 15, 2007

Don't invest in trouser company stocks


Because soon we won't need legs. We are being flooded with drive-thrus.

What next? Drive-thru daquiri shacks (they're very popular in Louisiana), drive-thru hair cuts, drive-thru strip clubs?

I can see the headline: Bottomless Body Found In Topless Bar

There's a reason people in NYC are trimmer than their small-city and suburban counterparts. They walk.

We, on the other hand, drive-thru.

And Middletown will be on the cutting-edge of drive-thru soon, just at the moment when oil hits a hundred bucks a barrel. And, there really are folks in diabetes, obesity and metabolism research working with architects on progressive building design to increase foot mobility, calorie burning, and thereby decrease obesity. They would make stairways more prominent than elevators and escalators, and encourage walk-ups instead of drive-thrus.

Advocates say it a lot, and politicians give it lip-service, but pedestrian-friendly, and drive-thru, are, after all, mutually exclusive.

Al Gore wins a Nobel for talking about carbon footprint, and we strap on a bigger set of carbon shoes.

5 comments:

Vijay said...

How about a new slogan for Middletown?

"Don't bother stopping. Just Drive-Thru!"

Ed McKeon said...

Glad to see you're in the scholarly pursuit of sarcasm at one of the world's great universities.

Paul said...

Boy, that article from the Middletown Press sure needed a little proofreading. I haven't seen such a poorly written article in quite some time.

Ed McKeon said...

You don't read the Middletown Press regularly do you?

Paul said...

I rarely read the Press, though I live in Middletown. I've noticed the severe lack of local news in that paper, especially since they went to the smaller format.