Wednesday, July 30, 2008

American justice called for technical foul

Citizens, tonight we can sleep soundly. For a monstrous criminal, of such proportions as to spread fear, and yes terror, in the bosom of every American, a villian, who has wounded the security of our very way of life, has been remanded to the most secure dungeons of our penal system. Now, with him behind bars, our Constitution is safe. Now our flag waves freely. Now our children can feel unencumbered to carry themselves like their heroes - tatooing arms, and legs, arguing and brawling gratuitously, woofing like the sickest athlete on any hardwood floor across this beautiful land.

Yes, the NBA is safe to overpay spoiled athletes, and to reap the filthy lucre of the advertising dollar, broadcast contracts and merchandise deals, because Tim Donaghy's in jail.

Yes, our daughters are safe, once again to travel to the casino, purses heavily laden with silver to feed the one-armed bandits. Our grandparents are at liberty to empty their retirement funds for hundreds of scratch tickets, which promise everything, which exploit hope, and which deliver the joy of screeching, "Shit, sell me another." And our sons are free to worship the gods of Texas hold 'em, our fathers and mothers unshackled to wander the gaudy halls of Circus, Circus and flush their greenbacks away.

Because Tim Donaghy's in jail.

And while we can't determine the right method to imprison those who have raped the Constitution, defiled our civil liberties, relieved us of the lives of our brave service people, squandered our treasure, impoverished our nation and trampled our laws, we can breathe easy.

Because Tim Donaghy's in jail.

Don't mourn the freedom of Bush and Cheney, Rove and Yoo, Addington and Pearle, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz, Gonzales and Mukasey, for these men are above the law which they have sworn to uphold. They are like gods among men. Servant to no ink scrawl on any parchment. And they will keep themselves free, and we will be safe from the terrorists which lurk behind every tree.

Because Tim Donaghy's in jail.

And Tim Donaghy should thank the judge who sentenced him that he won't be sent to Gitmo, or Pakistan, or Poland, or Syria, and that he'll serve his term in the sanest and safest of fortresses where every prisoner is treated like an equal animal. And we will watch Donaghy, as he grows frightened, and dim and demented on the next episode of MSNBC's Lockdown. And we will praise his conversion.

Because Tim Donaghy's in jail.

And I ask you, what the fuck is wrong with us?

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