Mom, can I join the rally squad?

Hey boys and girls, want to help out your country and your president. Want to be known as the most patriotic on the block. Great! You can be part of the local, official White House rally squad.

It's easy. It's simple. It's fun. And you can meet boys and girls who think that it's great to be an American.

How can you join? Glad you asked. Just show up at the next Presidential rally in your town, and be prepared to smother the nasty pessimism of dirty hippies, withered pinkos, and disaffected veterans with patriotism and love. If you can shout "U-S-A" and mean it, you can be an official member of the rally squad.

Think of the career possibilities - CIA, FBI, Blackwater. The potential is endless.

Just study the attached manual, and be ready to take a urine test! And don't forget your brown shirt.

The formation of “rally squads” is a common way to prepare for demonstrators by countering their message. This tactic involves utilizing small groups of volunteers to spread favorable messages using large hand held signs, placards, or perhaps a long sheet banner, and placing them in strategic areas around the site.

These squads should be instructed always to look for demonstrators. The rally squad's task is to use their signs and banners as shields between the demonstrators and the main press platform. If the demonstrators are yelling, rally squads can begin and lead supportive chants to drown out the protestors (USA!,USA!,USA!). As a last resort, security should remove the demonstrators form the event site. The rally squads can include, but are not limited to, college/young republican organizations, local athletic teams, and fraternities/sororities.

For larger rallies, the squads should be broken up into groups of approximately 15-25 people. A squad should be placed immediately in front of the stage, immediately in forgot of the main camera platform, close to the cut platform, immediately behind the stage area (if people are being used as the backdrop), and at least one squad should be 'roaming' throughout the perimeter of the event to look for potential problems.

(Thanks to the mysterious Jon Shado for sharing this.)